This is the best title I could come up with, so here we go!
relationship + mother = mothership.
I am the first to admit, my relationship with my mother is NOT perfect, it goes up and down, left and right, and every which way. I am also the first to admit that most of the time, when it is sideways, I own more than half of the blame. (I wonder where I get being so stubborn from?)
As with most (all) relationships, they go through seasons; seasons where things are really good, and seasons where they need space, or need more nurturing. What makes these relationships different than most is they go through the most seasons, here’s what I mean. In our spouse/SO relationships, the goal stays the same. In our friendships, the goal stays the same. In our Parent relationships the goals shift. It starts in the nurturing season, it’s their job to raise a good human, to ensure we are fed, and have a roof over our head, but then it shifts. It shifts to letting us grow on our own, and to support us from afar. In the next season, they watch us create and grow our own families. And finally, we watch out for them, we nurture them, we worry about them. It’s hard to shift from each of these huge life phases, but this relationship endures it all.
We certainly have our moments, but there is never a second I am not grateful for my Mother. She has shaped me into the person I am, and guided me every step of the way. She taught me the things I needed to be a good daughter, sister, friend, partner, mother, worker, shopper ;), and person. She’s shown me that you can build and maintain a career, AND have a family. She’s shown me that hard work pays off. She’s shown me that compassion and empathy go far. And most importantly, she’s shown me that killing people with kindness gets you far further than being sour.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to not have perfect relationships. It is okay to take time and space. There is no such thing as too late to fix something, and more so, forgiveness is wildly powerful.
I love you, Mom.